i am feeling very tired. very exhausted. i know i did nothing much. it feels like everything is draining me. i wonder what brought this feeling. i wonder if it was because of decisions that i had to make or rather it be the future that i had to decide. whichever it is, this feeling for sure i am going to get rid off soon.

so uni is starting soon. had this rather mix feeling. Human Resource Management (HRM), Hospitality and Tourism Law, Economics for the Hospitality and Tourism Industry, Tourism Research, Methodology and Statistic (Research), Intergrated Marketing Management (IMM) as well as Moral Studies. talking about Moral Studies makes me fuming mad ;( i wonder why i went through all the pain and sufferings in high school yet i have to do this again in uni! i am truly lookling forward for Law. it is going to be interesting though. IMM not much *shrugs* prolly cause i knew who is teaching >.< which causes me to dread even more!

looking at it on a brighter side, it is going to be my final semester. then i will be kicked out of the house to work my ass off. what brings next? yet to know. things changes to fast that i almost vomit. it is like how when you see stars and moon and birds chirping then maybe an angel or two. that is when you know you are going green and puking.

my days in Lagoon are long gone. i could partially say i am happy yet i am not. happy for i am no longer entangled with the messy politics happening. sad for the fact that i am leaving some really cool friends behind. well, i suppose everyone have to move on. prolly you might see be back there working. chances are 60-40. go figure which for which.

yes yes. i know i have been abandoning my blog as well as eff. heck i will be back soon. i had no idea what is my problem. i seemed to be tired most of the time. blame the weather i suppose? ah. it is getting late. hitting the sack. shall update eff tomorrow as well as this dead blog.

p/s: did i mention i had fish for my birthday present? correction : fishes. yes. and i found a dead prawn. long story. shall elaborate next time.

Labels: confused, disappintment, emotionally unstable, mess not, random, ranty rant rants, sleepy, tired

he was leaving and that she won't be able to see him for a year. she thought she could take it. she thought she could hang on. her days starting to shatter. she was woken up by her own fear, by her own nightmare. sitting at the edge of the bed in frightful tears. decisions that has to be made. as torn as she is inside her, she decided on what is best for her and she won't change it.

uh yeah. i have nothing much to blog about today. just another day at work. oh and i baked butter cake yesterday. it was very moist and nice. not too sweet. only thing is that the boyf said it tasted much like scones. well, a very BIG scone though. the boyf wanted to buy jam for it >.<

i have a lot of things which needs to be decided at this point. i think due to much stress, i have been pretty restless at night. but still, ah. i don't know.

Labels: confused, sleepy, tired, work

i might have always appear as someone who posses no fear but in reality, i do. my greatest fear would be the death of my loved ones. i spent almost the whole morning thinking about this. i DO value my loved ones very much. it has been a fact that in relationship (be it your family or bf/gf), we are bound to hurt one another. honestly, if anyone faces relationship that doesn't have these, i am sorry to say, prolly you need to re-evaluate your relationship.

i know i have been neglecting a particular someone a lot. as a matter of fact, i am avoiding. what happened has been such a great impact that it totally numbed me all over. words are easier said than done. the advise was that what if death falls upon, would i regret? yes i would terribly regret but i just can't bring myself to it. it not only disgust me but at the same time, it pushes me further away. so, i am pleading, please give me more time. i really need time.

to be honest, my main concern now would be my future. i have been thrown in an offer but i wanted to broaden my experiences. i don't want to stay stuck at a place. i don't know. maybe i would think about it. but still, right now i think that should not be my main priority yet.

Currently listening to Happy Up There by Röyksopp

Labels: confused, emotionally unstable, mess not, random, ranty rant rants, work

very tempted to change my blog's layout
but i am in love with this.
haha.
so, most prolly i will change,
due to boredness.

went for briefing for Adventurace today.
nothing big.

exams one more week.
lesser time to update blog
and more time concentrated to studies.

French pronunciation sucks.
wondering how to pass my oral.

International Airfares and Ticketing are lousy.
i want to skip class
cause she confuse me by my questions
and get confused herself too by explaining.

i want my holidays now.

i am getting darker.

my neck hurts.

my back starts aching again
because i walked too much
and fell on the stairs the other day.

i need more shorts.

days are too good to be true.
suddenly hot like oven,
next minute raining.
which make things worst.

taxi drivers are acting like a whiny bitch.
not all but some.
especially those in front of my college's condo.

been lacking of sleep these few days.

i need my holiday.

it is Ching Ming this weekend.
and all the Tom, Dick and Harry goes for graveyard visiting.

the end.

without you,
my days are,
Sadday, Moanday, Tearsday, Wasteday,
Thirstday, Fightday, Shatterday.
so please come back A.S.A.P k?

Labels: class, confused, him, lazy, lecturer, life, random, ranty rant rants, sleepy, tired

i am torn in between two, greed and understanding. i know no matter which i chose will end up in the same conclusion, me not feeling right. greed makes me happy but he has to sacrifice. understanding makes him happy but me feeling totally giving too much. the question is, should i give or should i take? i don't know. you see. i refuse to answer but i have to answer i know i have to give him a proper answer today. either greed or understanding.

my left eye corner is bruised. yep. you heard me right. long story and i don't feel like going into details or whatsoever. and my flu is still here. i hate it every time i sneeze. it feels like my eyes are gonna pop out and the feeling is definitely so not fun at all. i hate it ;( and i am feeling sick. i wanna go home now, sulk and sleep. ish ish. can i skip class and go to a clinic and get a medical leave? i wonder. which means i have to call my mom and ask for her permission. well, i guess it could be done since mom ask me to go see a doctor. in any case, i shall call and ask.

there are like so many KPCs nowadays that i am thinking of blog migrations or maybe not. i am kinda tired of blog migration. will just stick to this one till i get a solution on how to make my blog private. oh wait. there is a way! but i just wanna make certain posts to be private and to be only accessable by the password i give. or prolly i should hop back to my wordpress. oh well oh well.almost 12. i guess i should be going. class starts at 12.30. or maybe i should make a phone call. i wonder.

Labels: confused, disappintment, him, life, ranty rant rants, sick, you

seriously, i am wondering now is it a good idea to move my blog and i'm tired. very very tired. shall update more tomorrow. oh and also, that stupid big lump thing on my leg, it is getting BIG, red and has a black dot in the middle and it looked as if it has boil! tomorrow i'm so gonna go to the clinic. 3.5 cm across. that's how BIG it is! and it hurts whenever i stretches my leg or someone touched on it without applying any pressure. this is bad and sad.

Labels: confused, sick, tired