Do you believe in fairytale? I still do not know if I do...
But I believe in us, our story and I am committed to write the world best love story with you.
undisclosed desire
Friday, September 18, 2009 @ 11:59:00 AM
I know you've suffered, But I don't want you to hide, It's cold and loveless, I won't let you be denied
Soothing, I'll make you feel pure, Trust me, You can be sure
I want to reconcile the violence in your heart I want to recognize your beauty's not just a mask, I want to exorcise the demons from your past, I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart
You trick your lovers, That you're wicked and divine, You may be a sinner, But your innocence is mine
Please me, Show me how it's done, Tease me, You are the one
I want to reconcile the violence in your heart, I want to recognize your beauty's not just a mask, I want to exorcise the demons from your past, I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart
i know i hadn't been updating. final semester is crazy! too many work to be done, too many assignments piling up. i am trying hard to reduce the piles. currently i am rushing on my SWE report. urgh. honstly, must everything be in essay?!
i am feeling very tired. very exhausted. i know i did nothing much. it feels like everything is draining me. i wonder what brought this feeling. i wonder if it was because of decisions that i had to make or rather it be the future that i had to decide. whichever it is, this feeling for sure i am going to get rid off soon.
so uni is starting soon. had this rather mix feeling. Human Resource Management (HRM), Hospitality and Tourism Law, Economics for the Hospitality and Tourism Industry, Tourism Research, Methodology and Statistic (Research), Intergrated Marketing Management (IMM) as well as Moral Studies. talking about Moral Studies makes me fuming mad ;( i wonder why i went through all the pain and sufferings in high school yet i have to do this again in uni! i am truly lookling forward for Law. it is going to be interesting though. IMM not much *shrugs* prolly cause i knew who is teaching >.< which causes me to dread even more!
looking at it on a brighter side, it is going to be my final semester. then i will be kicked out of the house to work my ass off. what brings next? yet to know. things changes to fast that i almost vomit. it is like how when you see stars and moon and birds chirping then maybe an angel or two. that is when you know you are going green and puking.
my days in Lagoon are long gone. i could partially say i am happy yet i am not. happy for i am no longer entangled with the messy politics happening. sad for the fact that i am leaving some really cool friends behind. well, i suppose everyone have to move on. prolly you might see be back there working. chances are 60-40. go figure which for which.
yes yes. i know i have been abandoning my blog as well as eff. heck i will be back soon. i had no idea what is my problem. i seemed to be tired most of the time. blame the weather i suppose? ah. it is getting late. hitting the sack. shall update eff tomorrow as well as this dead blog.
p/s: did i mention i had fish for my birthday present? correction : fishes. yes. and i found a dead prawn. long story. shall elaborate next time.
yes i know it has been some time since i blogged. i did not even update effguide >.< feeling very guilty now. since i am quite free today, i am going to update eff! a short post on something, which i have yet to figure!
i have been quite obsessed with lollipops nowadays. have to and must control self! haha! i had no idea but my cravings are hitting me like typhoon! urgh.
my hatred towards someone is increasing day by day. damnit. that's it la. my zen and my coolness is gone! aih. nevermind. 14 more days in Lagoon and i am gone. 14 days which does not include AiFM concert (8/8), MTV World Stage (15/8) and Eason Chan concert (16/8). if i add those on, it would be 17 days ;( i don't like to make myself sad.
oh, did i mention that i got a Twitter account? sadly, it is only opened to people whom i know and trust! it is private!
fairy tales. do they exist or it is just another bedtime story or a make believe kind of thing? fairies. does fairies really exist? or is it just that we human are so imperfect that we dream of something that make us feel so perfect? fairy godmothers. will they come if i call? do i even have one to start off with? we human make things to believe hoping that it would come true one day. are we so naive that we are so wiling to live in a world that does not exist?
if i could, i would like to live in a world that i believe in. a world where things are easy going, no stress, no backstabbing, rainbows everywhere, smiles and laughter heard all day long, a world that is so surreal that it doesn't even exist unless i try sleeping now and yeah la.
i think we are going pretty strong. though there were a lot of obstacles and challenges but we are still going strong. i am very thankful for that. on and off we would hurt each others feelings. in and out we would feel anger and sad. still, at the end of the day, we would look for each other up and down. this is what makes us so strong.
in a separate note, i have been feeling damn thankful for the past few days. people that i love and appreciate that they exist. that they are here with me. really really thankful.
hello darkness, my old friend, i've come to talk with you again because a vision softly creeping, left its seeds while i was sleeping and the vision that was planted in my brain still remains within the sound of silence.
so it has been 1 month since i changed department. seriously, this department is a love hate kind of thing. well anyway, been hearing news that my lecturer has been going around visiting everyone. soon it is going to be my turn. i have nothing much to say though. it is kinda fun working here but the stress level is super high!
yesterday was Jeric's last day. he is an IT intern, from SunUni also! kinda sad cause now it is like one friend missing. RAWR. but then it is also a relief that it was his last day yesterday. he has been living in hell since his internship here. well, all that i can say is that he has become more and more professional in playing hide and seek!
for the past few days, there has been many decision makings that has to be done. decisions that delaying is not a reason. some personal related and some future related. future related decision making are almost nearly done but the personal related ones are a tad bit difficult. in any case, let time take its pace.
oh did i mention that i am the first in office today? HOORAY?!
i miss your breath i miss your hugs i miss your kisses i miss your smiles i miss your snores i miss your laughter i miss your waking you up in the morning i miss biting you i miss making you mad i miss you.
so Akon concert is post-poned till October 24. reason being is that he got family matter. once we (we as in the people in the department) read this, we instantly know that it is not true! and the truth is - like we would know! anyhow, Eason Chan's press conference will still be going on as usual on that day.
AHH. i can't wait to go Singapore and Melbourne ;)
today smells bad. opened the door and ugh! TERRIBLE! nevertheless, i rained yesterday, somewhere sometime during the night cause the floor outside was wet? haha.
the pc in my work place is slowwww and it is Pentium 4 >.< gak gak gak! old monitor and yada yada mada. no DVD Rom some more! o'well.
so i have decided on where i would be heading. talked to a few people about it, about how i felt. i really feel bad cause it felt like i am somehow somewhat being the black sheep. i know where i stand and i really want to make an effort out of it. people were pretty helpful. some even reminded me that it is not going to be easy but they would be there for me. for some odd reason, i somehow felt that this is the right choice in a wrong way.
I've been runnin in circles all day long I'm out of breath but I'm still going strong
everyday, every morning, i would make myself a litre of smoking hot green tea. then i would drink till it is lunch time. why you ask? TO SUPPRESS HUNGER! i have been auto alarmed to wake up at 7am every morning. then i would sit in front of my laptop, a) blog in effguide or b) watch my series :P
heh. life is good? i don't know >.<
I let my guard down for you And in time you will too
he was leaving and that she won't be able to see him for a year. she thought she could take it. she thought she could hang on. her days starting to shatter. she was woken up by her own fear, by her own nightmare. sitting at the edge of the bed in frightful tears. decisions that has to be made. as torn as she is inside her, she decided on what is best for her and she won't change it.
uh yeah. i have nothing much to blog about today. just another day at work. oh and i baked butter cake yesterday. it was very moist and nice. not too sweet. only thing is that the boyf said it tasted much like scones. well, a very BIG scone though. the boyf wanted to buy jam for it >.<
i have a lot of things which needs to be decided at this point. i think due to much stress, i have been pretty restless at night. but still, ah. i don't know.
KILL ME PLEASE! I AM SLEEPY AND DREADING TO COME TO WORK. I HAVE BEEN LIKE THIS LATELY! HAD THIS FEELING OF WANTING TO GO HOME. i think it is caused from the unhealthy working environment.
dear lord,
SAVE ME LA!
amen.
today's mission: no Milo, no Teh Tarik, no sweet food (including sweets) and drink ONLY green tea!
sitting on her desk, sipping at the tasteless Milo. she wonders if this is what her life would be in the future. shaking the thoughts away, she told herself that it will never happen. her life has got to be more than this! like just every other person in the world, she too has high aims.
i am such a good girl! i come to office so early ;D looking at my attandence card, i kind of feel super please with myself! never once i am late to work. had 2 days in this month which i did not come to work. one is MC cause of diarrhea and the other one i took a non-paid leave. family comes first! so yea, i am planning NOT to skip anymore for this month and next month! i want full payment for salary. although they are paying me a pittance which in reality is not enough to make a living for 2 weeks but money is money! who don't want?
EH EH?! i forgotten to bring my jacket today ;( never mind. i "stole" someone's jacket *winks winks* for some odd reason, i am in a better mood today. blame the menstrual. haha! but then, i am starting to develop a sore throat and i want to eat durian badly. rawr! someone please feed this girl here! i heard that in SS2 they got this all you can eat for RM15 and the durians are all superb (as in the bitter ones!).
oh and this morning both of my legs cramp -.- it was during my sleep. it is a sign that i am overworking my legs. awww. pity them but heck, i got no choice! so, legs oh legs, please don't blame me ;(
p/s: Milo finished so i tried the Teh Tarik. one word: EWWWWW!
Currently listening to : Fight The Bad Feeling (Ballad Ver.) by T-MAX
i wonder if it is just me or that the air con is cold. the place i am seating is super strategic where the air con's flap, no matter how you position it, it will still be blowing to me! this reminds me to bring my own jacket to work.
today as usual is another boring day. it is funny how i see others being busy with the DND sign on their forehead yet i am sitting here playing? haha. not exactly playing. i am just looking for things that i can do ;) guess cause i am new and i don't have much experience? i suppose so.
i asume that i am going to be pretty moodles for the first few weeks next month. partially cause the boyf is going back to Ipoh which leave me with mom and sis. no i am not complaining. it is going to be great cause well, at least my room and laundry would be well taken care of!
the other half would be, i had no idea. haha. in any case, i have been pretty moodless for the past few days. it doesn't come with any reson. it is just the way it is. plus, i realize my temper has been going pretty bad too. must do something about it.yea i know words are easier said than done.
so, what is up for next month. Akon concert on the 2nd July. i am one of the crew working on that night. then the rest of the events are pretty much tentative due to some P&C issues. also next month would mark our 3 years together ;)
good morning world :) i am at work now. honestly, i wish i were so busy till i can die but well, what i got is the opposite. i am so bored till if i drop dead and die now, no one is going to care -.- yeala. it is THAT boring. i have absolutely nothing to do. so i clocked in at 9am and i sit here, facebook-ing and so on. maybe i should start playing pet society -.- i see how people having fun playing that :D then i will see what i can do, go around and harass everyone for things that i can do. gah! then lunch time at 1pm and i have nothing to do after lunch time. continue harassing and if i am lucky, chat on msn. yeala. my internship is THAT boring.
seriously, i think if i don't come work, no one is going to say a thing! i see people all so busy, i also want to join the fun so time passes by faster! bah!
heh. so i haven't been blogging lately. there are so many happenings! and i dare say, i am totally burnt out! if you are in my situation, you would know why.
i seriously think most girls in my college are bloody lazy dumb asses. i have VERY solid reasons to support my statement.
1. i was standing in front of the lift, in a rush *thanks to the bloody jam* to go up to the 5th floor. mind you, i am on the ground floor. there were this bunch of girls standing in front of me chit chatting. i noticed that the down indicator was pressed. without thinking much, i just press the up indicator. the lift came, and it was going down. i just stepped in with the rest of the girls. then, this was when the most outrageous incident happened! THEY ACTUALLY PRESSED DOWN TO GO TO THE LOWER GROUND FLOOR! like hello? just use the steps can or not? it is only 2 flights of steps down!
2. this time i wasn't late but then, there were a bunch of girls in front of the lift chit chatting. ok never mind. ground floor as well. so, we all went in. heh. then, this was when the most outrageous incident happened! THEY ALL PRESSED FIRST FLOOR! wtf?! just climb the bloody stairs la! it was so packed at that time! the lift was practically filled. i used to climb the stairs from ground floor till fifth floor! in my 3 inch heels also!
3. i was waiting for the lift at first floor. lift came and showed me 4 persons. there were 2 girls standing very close to the lift door and the back there was all empty. so, i walked in, expected them to walk back or something cause there was absolutely no more space for another person if they didn't move! then, this was when the most outrageous incident happened! THEY REALLY DID NOT MOVE AT ALL!
see! i do have my reasons on why i made such a statement! RAWR!
i realized my last post is dated back at 10th February 2009 and also that i am not that ritual any more as i used to be. so, here sits this lack of sleep girl that has been sleeping from 5.30am and wakes up at 7.30am since Thursday, blogging for you. i doubt people actually read my personal blog since i made it private. in fact, i find more ritual people visiting my public blog! but still, i won't make this blog public, any more! once bitten twice shy. anyway, cut the crap.
eh eh! you know how messy is my table now? i think there is no more space for my hand any more >< ok. not think, IT IS already. how conspicuous it is that there is definitely no more space for my hand! haha. i shall post a picture of it in my next post. as for now, i have to get ready and go Mid Valley. mom will be staying in for 2 weeks! say hello to the world of eating healthy and no more oily greasy fried whole chicken leg! oh, that is heavenly delicious!
See I'm a young soul in this very strange world Hoping I could learn a bit 'bout what is true and fake But why all this hate? try to communicate Finding trust and love is not always easy to make
& when the sun goes down, i see your pretty face next to me
Saturday, January 24, 2009 @ 10:57:00 PM
내 머리는 너무나 나빠서. 너 하나밖에 난 모르고. 너를 사랑한다 입가에 맴돌아. 니가 너무 생각나는 날엔
not late yet still the first day of Chinese New Year! will be going back to KL on Wednesday as i have loads of projects waiting for me >< depressing. please please please do drive carefully as i have witnessed many accidents on the highway during my journey back from KL to Ipoh. remember your love ones! don't break their hearts! ooo! i can smell those nice nice pineapple tarts waiting for me! not forgetting,
merry christmas all the way from Singapore! massive picture uploads once i am free enough to load all of it into my laptop and resize all and watermark it! lots of job but i can assure you the pictures are all super gorgeous and not to mention, mouth watering! very VERY mouth watering! christmas is just tomorrow! gosh, how days actually pass by so fast. sad, happy, anger, jealousy and so on but no mater what happens, we all still stay together. be it as family or as lover.
so i woke up at 6.30am to put the cold pastas into the boxes and then slice the cheese and place them on top. i swear, next time i am going to protest hard hard when the boyf wanted to buy block types! they are so hard, so frustrating and so maddening! i have to slice it and then shred it! might as well buy the shredded ones since the boyf is only using it for his pastas >< anyways, i am not complaining cause this would be my first and last time shredding the block of cheese at 6.30am!
i can't sleep and i know i need to sleep! asked the boyf a very weird question yesterday, "what should i blog tomorrow [today]?" haha! i am running out of things to blog and i don't have anything to actually help me blog? mind my wackiness. i am sleep deprived but when i start lying on my bed, my mind couldn't stop running around. i need some serious training in sleeping alone. pathetic but true.
the boyf is obsessed with one of the soundtrack in Twilight. he likes piano-ish songs but he doesn't like to sit for the practical and theory exams! Bella's Lullaby by Carter Burwell. thanks to Anne Marie for helping me looking for the scores! now i wish i had a piano here so i can waste some time instead of staring at my laptop and laugh at the blank screen for the whole day! below is a solo played by someone else NOT Carter Burwell. i find this song very relaxing (:
A woman and a baby were in the doctor’s examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in.
The doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight and found it somewhat below normal. The doctor asked if the baby was breast fed or bottle fed.
“Breast fed,” the woman replied.
“Well, strip down to your waist,” the doctor asked. She did. He pressed, kneaded, rolled, cupped, and pinched both breasts in a detailed, rigorously thorough examination.
Motioning for her to get dressed he said, “No wonder this baby is under weight! You don’t have any milk.”
“I know,” she said, “I’m his grandmother, but I’m glad I came.”
spent almost my whole day at +wondermilk® let the pictures talk! captions would be guiding you all (: kinda tired now ><
the back of my phone :P
i know! massive destruction of BEAUTY!
me and the boyf! were in Secret Recipe having lunch with mom and bro before the event started.
drink more milk!
MORE MORE MILK!!
pretty little "angpau"! no money, or milk :D they gave out lucky draw numbers as well as free coupons for a box of 4 petites, and free coupons for Mingo Mingo ice cream! yummylicious!
this was BEFORE the crowd ok?
where you get your "angpaus", free cupcake tattoos, and registerations for the cupcake design competition.
the garage sales.
they invited VJ Marion as well as some cool awesome bands to perform!
haha! me in the cupcakes design competition! this was the preliminary round. they limited it to only 16 people. a simple fee of RM5 was charged. there were 4 rounds and one winner (:
i don't know what to say. my hands were SHAKING! haha. first timer!
i did very detailed cupcake designs where else some of the rest were sprinkling sprinkles like kids ><
it was very kan cheong! cause i almost ran out of time to put the cupcakes into the box! the rules were simple, (lol. now only tell rules!) you were given 10 minutes to design 4 cupcakes as well as putting those cupcakes into a box. cupcakes will be judged based on creativity, neatness, how you play with the color, and originality!
i was one of the finalists (: waiting for it to start.
i basically did a rainbow kind of thing. you can see it at the right :D
HAHA! i won, somehow.
i won second >< despite some people told me that i could have bagged the champion easily. prolly it was cause there was THIS GIRL, she messed up my cupcakes design, WITH HER DANGLING NECKLACE! i feel like murdering her. there goes my Colorsplash Lomography!
ok so second is not THAT bad. but i still want the champion!! want to know what i designed? heh. scroll more la :D the first one is the preliminary round's cupcakes. the bottom one is the finals. you can see the destroyed part if you click on the picture.
ok. so this is how i spent my weekend. i am still displeased with the results. it was judged by VJ Marion. i think i better shaddup.
still the first day of Chinese New Year! will be going back to KL on Wednesday as i have loads of projects waiting for me >< depressing. please please please do drive carefully as i have witnessed many accidents on the highway during my journey back from KL to Ipoh. remember your love ones! don't break their hearts! ooo! i can smell those nice nice pineapple tarts waiting for me! not forgetting, 
merry christmas all the way from Singapore! massive picture uploads once i am free enough to load all of it into my laptop and resize all and watermark it! lots of job but i can assure you the pictures are all super gorgeous and not to mention, mouth watering! very VERY mouth watering! christmas is just tomorrow! gosh, how days actually pass by so fast. sad, happy, anger, jealousy and so on but no mater what happens, we all still stay together. be it as family or as lover.
now.
