i am so mad that i am actually cursing upside down inside out in my heart. urgh. so i took my films to this shop (with a big Kodak signboard and it is a shared shop with locksmith. the one in the same row as RHB bank) in SS15. i carefully and strictly told her THREE TIMES that it is a double frame film and i want my films to be developed into 36 pieces instead of 72 pieces. she nodded and say ok ok ok and come back on Wednesday to get it.

i came back today AND SHE BLOODY DEVELOPED IT INTO 75 PIECES, RM51! i don't know where the 3 others came from but that is beside the point. she ignored me and i was pretty mad. the locksmith guy saw and he say he charge me 2 piece for the price of one. heh. so i paid RM21.50 and walked away. as any human with common sense, that Malay girl was frustrated cuse it is going to cost her out from her salary :p

honestly hor, i am NOT that easy to be cheated. plus plus, i was a bit furious before i went there cause the cash deposit machine rejected my RM50 notes again >.< aiyo. if it continues like this, i might not want to go bank in rent anymore -.-

Labels: disappintment, emotionally unstable, mess not, tired

i am feeling very tired. very exhausted. i know i did nothing much. it feels like everything is draining me. i wonder what brought this feeling. i wonder if it was because of decisions that i had to make or rather it be the future that i had to decide. whichever it is, this feeling for sure i am going to get rid off soon.

so uni is starting soon. had this rather mix feeling. Human Resource Management (HRM), Hospitality and Tourism Law, Economics for the Hospitality and Tourism Industry, Tourism Research, Methodology and Statistic (Research), Intergrated Marketing Management (IMM) as well as Moral Studies. talking about Moral Studies makes me fuming mad ;( i wonder why i went through all the pain and sufferings in high school yet i have to do this again in uni! i am truly lookling forward for Law. it is going to be interesting though. IMM not much *shrugs* prolly cause i knew who is teaching >.< which causes me to dread even more!

looking at it on a brighter side, it is going to be my final semester. then i will be kicked out of the house to work my ass off. what brings next? yet to know. things changes to fast that i almost vomit. it is like how when you see stars and moon and birds chirping then maybe an angel or two. that is when you know you are going green and puking.

my days in Lagoon are long gone. i could partially say i am happy yet i am not. happy for i am no longer entangled with the messy politics happening. sad for the fact that i am leaving some really cool friends behind. well, i suppose everyone have to move on. prolly you might see be back there working. chances are 60-40. go figure which for which.

yes yes. i know i have been abandoning my blog as well as eff. heck i will be back soon. i had no idea what is my problem. i seemed to be tired most of the time. blame the weather i suppose? ah. it is getting late. hitting the sack. shall update eff tomorrow as well as this dead blog.

p/s: did i mention i had fish for my birthday present? correction : fishes. yes. and i found a dead prawn. long story. shall elaborate next time.

Labels: confused, disappintment, emotionally unstable, mess not, random, ranty rant rants, sleepy, tired

yeah i know i have been a bum for not updating. when things were going at an exhilarating speed, i wished that it would be slower so i could enjoy every moment out of it. but when things decided to go at billions of notch below slow speed, i wished that it would pass by like the speed of light.

went back to Ipoh on Thursday night with a bunch of wacko friends. honestly, these people are people i am very grateful for! life is a million times better when you have friends that doesn't beat around the bush with you and tells you straight up if they find you are annoying/ irritating/ anything possible. these bunch of people are the ones that makes you feel that life is not just another roller coaster ride. they put speed bums when things are going to fast and they put nitrous oxide when things are going too slow. these people are not just any ordinary bunch of wackos you see at the side of the street. they are abnormal bunch of wackos, so much incomparable to Superman, Batman, Ultraman and Spenderman! SAPADEM!

talking about my trip back to Ipoh, i came back with a handful "souvenirs". i got nice big scratches near the ankle of my right leg, a torn sweat pants (not really torn, a hole near the knee cap more likely), a very tired body due the the lack of sleep and also fears. fears that i don't feel like mentioning. that i would rather keep it inside me.

right now, everything seemed to be moving into plan B. i fear that plan B might not even be working. i don't have a plan C. i don't even know what my plan C should be. so for now, just pray that plan B really works out or i will have to...no. i will MAKE plan B happen! no rooms for failure this time.

looking forward to 28th August. 44 more days. forty-four.

note to self - it is ok to cry once in a while. just cry for the right reason.

Labels: emotionally unstable, life, mess not, random, ranty rant rants, tired, work

i hate being in a situation where it doesn't benefit me at all (minus voluntary work!). not only that it doesn't bring me any benefit, it make me look bad at the same time. seriously and honestly, i don't want to be in your game. i have never wanted to be in it and i am not in it. so, leave me alone!

Labels: emotionally unstable, mess not

i might have always appear as someone who posses no fear but in reality, i do. my greatest fear would be the death of my loved ones. i spent almost the whole morning thinking about this. i DO value my loved ones very much. it has been a fact that in relationship (be it your family or bf/gf), we are bound to hurt one another. honestly, if anyone faces relationship that doesn't have these, i am sorry to say, prolly you need to re-evaluate your relationship.

i know i have been neglecting a particular someone a lot. as a matter of fact, i am avoiding. what happened has been such a great impact that it totally numbed me all over. words are easier said than done. the advise was that what if death falls upon, would i regret? yes i would terribly regret but i just can't bring myself to it. it not only disgust me but at the same time, it pushes me further away. so, i am pleading, please give me more time. i really need time.

to be honest, my main concern now would be my future. i have been thrown in an offer but i wanted to broaden my experiences. i don't want to stay stuck at a place. i don't know. maybe i would think about it. but still, right now i think that should not be my main priority yet.

Currently listening to Happy Up There by Röyksopp

Labels: confused, emotionally unstable, mess not, random, ranty rant rants, work

i wonder if it is just me or that the air con is cold. the place i am seating is super strategic where the air con's flap, no matter how you position it, it will still be blowing to me! this reminds me to bring my own jacket to work.

today as usual is another boring day. it is funny how i see others being busy with the DND sign on their forehead yet i am sitting here playing? haha. not exactly playing. i am just looking for things that i can do ;) guess cause i am new and i don't have much experience? i suppose so.

i asume that i am going to be pretty moodles for the first few weeks next month. partially cause the boyf is going back to Ipoh which leave me with mom and sis. no i am not complaining. it is going to be great cause well, at least my room and laundry would be well taken care of!

the other half would be, i had no idea. haha. in any case, i have been pretty moodless for the past few days. it doesn't come with any reson. it is just the way it is. plus, i realize my temper has been going pretty bad too. must do something about it.yea i know words are easier said than done.

so, what is up for next month. Akon concert on the 2nd July. i am one of the crew working on that night. then the rest of the events are pretty much tentative due to some P&C issues. also next month would mark our 3 years together ;)

Labels: emotionally unstable, lazy, mess not, ranty rant rants, sleepy, tired, work

my finals are starting tomorrow. this serves as a reminder to me what time and what subject it is. then after that it is my internship on Monday.

Monday, 20 April 2009
0900 - 1100: MICE
1400 - 1600: Cost Accounting

Tuesday, 21 April 2009
0900 - 1100: Tourism Impact Studies
1400 - 1600: International Tourism Marketing

Wednesday, 22 April 2009
1400 - 1600: Organizational Behavior

*all exams will be held in NE-3 (previously known as 7-8)*

i think i am going early tomorrow to scan around. i had no idea where is NE-3 -.-

Labels: emotionally unstable, exam, lazy, life, mess not, serious business, tired

"fuck" is my word for the day. i have been cursing since noon till now. be it my luck or how ignorant some people can be, i conveniently got blamed for things which i had no idea on. yeah, fuck.

i am not in charge. so, why are you looking at me? i did not calculate for it and it is not like i am throwing blames around. that is the fact that i am a lost ball in high weeds. i have been trying to voice out but have you seen how i have been shoved aside? their conspiracies, which you did not see. why me?

tomorrow is the last day and after tomorrow, you all can go and fuck any holes you want!

p/s: mind my language. i am NOT in the mood.

Currently listening to Disturbia by Rihanna

Labels: mess not, ranty rant rants, serious business, tired

i am tired. i feel like yelling and shouting at their face! for crying out loud, stop being so childish can die la now? honestly, there are more than me disliking you than you all accumulated ok? many people are VERY unpleasant with you at all! urgh. i hope this ends faster la. really chewing me inside out.

Labels: mess not, serious business, tired

Serendipity is the effect by which one accidentally discovers something fortunate, especially while looking for something else entirely.

Etymology
The word derives from Serendip, the old Persian name for Sri Lanka, and was coined by Horace Walpole on 28 January 1754 in a letter he wrote to his friend Horace Mann (not the same man as the famed American educator), an Englishman then living in Florence. The letter read,

"It was once when I read a silly fairy tale, called The Three Princes of Serendip: as their highness traveled, they were always making discoveries, by accidents and sagacity, of things which they were not in quest of: for instance, one of them discovered that a camel blind of the right eye had traveled the same road lately, because the grass was eaten only on the left side, where it was worse than on the right—now do you understand serendipity? One of the most remarkable instances of this accidental sagacity (for you must observe that no discovery of a thing you are looking for, comes under this description) was of my Lord Shaftsbury, who happening to dine at Lord Chancellor Clarendon's, found out the marriage of the Duke of York and Mrs. Hyde, by the respect with which her mother treated her at table."

Taken from here.

i am speechless. i am baffled. i am tired. i am guilty.

i didn't know that Passion (fruit) in Malay is Markisa till i spinned the bottle and read the label. i didn't know that i had a pimple on my right elbow till i rested my elbow on the table. i didn't know that everything changed to fast till i had a hard time chasing. i didn't know that when i am trying to please everyone, no one pleases me. no one ever told me this and i don't think anyone will.


Currently listening to 곡 정보 보기 나쁜 마음을 먹게해 (Dance Ver.) by T-MAX

Labels: mess not, sick, tired

heh. so i haven't been blogging lately. there are so many happenings! and i dare say, i am totally burnt out! if you are in my situation, you would know why.

i seriously think most girls in my college are bloody lazy dumb asses. i have VERY solid reasons to support my statement.

1. i was standing in front of the lift, in a rush *thanks to the bloody jam* to go up to the 5th floor. mind you, i am on the ground floor. there were this bunch of girls standing in front of me chit chatting. i noticed that the down indicator was pressed. without thinking much, i just press the up indicator. the lift came, and it was going down. i just stepped in with the rest of the girls. then, this was when the most outrageous incident happened! THEY ACTUALLY PRESSED DOWN TO GO TO THE LOWER GROUND FLOOR! like hello? just use the steps can or not? it is only 2 flights of steps down!

2. this time i wasn't late but then, there were a bunch of girls in front of the lift chit chatting. ok never mind. ground floor as well. so, we all went in. heh. then, this was when the most outrageous incident happened! THEY ALL PRESSED FIRST FLOOR! wtf?! just climb the bloody stairs la! it was so packed at that time! the lift was practically filled. i used to climb the stairs from ground floor till fifth floor! in my 3 inch heels also!

3. i was waiting for the lift at first floor. lift came and showed me 4 persons. there were 2 girls standing very close to the lift door and the back there was all empty. so, i walked in, expected them to walk back or something cause there was absolutely no more space for another person if they didn't move! then, this was when the most outrageous incident happened! THEY REALLY DID NOT MOVE AT ALL!

see! i do have my reasons on why i made such a statement! RAWR!

Labels: angry., emotionally unstable, mess not, sleepy, tired.

Dear God,

Thank you for answering my prayer. Yes, that one and only prayer. Today, I found a disgusting living creatures in my kitchen. Though I know it is one of your most beautiful creations but it sends chill down my spine when I went over and scrutinize on it. Maggots, my Lord. Maggots. I found, sorry, I saw thousands of them wriggling away underneath the kitchen back door, in the plastic bag and also in the sink. It made me wonder, then it freaked me out and undoubtedly, I cried. I have never felt so disgusted before in my life *minus cockroaches, they freak me out too*. When I was on the verge of killing myself, there is this super power empowering me! I felt so almighty! I took the responsible person's clean shirt, wrapped around my hand and my arm, took the plastic bag infested with maggots and threw it right out from my house. Yes I know I sinned but wait, there is more. To erase evidence, I threw away the matching pants. I know I sinned a lot today. I killed your most beautiful creations, The Maggots, I threw away responsible person's matching attire and, I think that is all. But! Me and my sister cleaned the whole kitchen. Wait. This prayer is to thank You. Yes yes, I thank you Lord for listening to my prayer as I won't be seeing the responsible person anymore. Thank you!

Amen.

Labels: emotionally unstable, estacyly happy, mess not, random, ranty rant rants

Dear friend,

Since the day one i met you, i thought you were the one of a kind good friend that would go all out for another friend. Thank you very much and that i have now changed my total perception towards you. I have seen how you look like now and my oh my, you are even uglier than my piece of shit when i am having diarrhea. You are one of the kind people who never fail to make me attempt to slap you inside out, upside down, and center. You are so lucky i am a very patient person. Luckily, luck the winning side is on my side. Soon, i don't have to see your worst-than-my-shit's face everyday. I am now patiently waiting for that day to come. Fret not for i shall celebrate with a few bottles of champagne and a very nice big juicy steak.

With much love (and hatred),
Sara.

Labels: emotionally unstable, mess not, serious business

on and off i feel like giving up. there is just too much running around in my head and most of the time, i feel like breaking. i felt torn apart. bah. i have only been back in uni for 2 weeks and i am already giving up. i am giving up on the people that fell and refuse to stand back up again. i am giving up on people that do not value the happiness they have right now. i am giving up on people that are already giving up. i find it pointless to help those who fall but refuse to pick themselves back. not that i did not help. i did but then, they fall again. they refuse to face what they should be facing. i am already very tired. i really need a long weekend. a nice long break.

i have an obsession with antique keys. i think that they are very charmingly created. they are very sophisticated and their designs are breathtaking. i wanted to get one, or maybe a bunch.



gorgeous aye? they are so so so much nicer than the ones we have now. i think i love antique stuffs. i found one website that sells antiques items such as Victorian Jewelry 1837-1901, Swiss Jewelry circa 1915 and more. you can get them at Morning Glory Antiques & Jewelry provided if you have a paypal account and you are rich enough to actually pay in US Dolars. 1 USD = 3.57892 MYR. HAHA! if anyone is buying, i want one also!

p/s: i am in the lab now waiting till 4.30 and then i got some stupid sharing session for the SWE/ Internship. gah!

Labels: class, emotionally unstable, home, mess not, random, ranty rant rants

i wore my new pair of Oxford heels which i grabbed from Zara in Singapore and it amazingly gave me two freaking huge blisters! it hurts and it is very ugly. and now i have to suffer the consequences of not wearing heels till the blisters are healed. gah! the perfect problem is, all my heels are Oxford heels. nice!

i have a total of 6 classes this semester. 5 are in for finals and 1 would be briefing for my internship. gotten my results as well. Marketing and Management A and B's for the rest *Advance Airfares and Ticketing, Tour Planning and Development, Malaysian Studies, Finance Accounting* so yea, i am pretty blessed. i remember how worried i was once i finished Marketing fearing that i might fail. the boyf even set aside money for my resit ><

created a new blog just for photography. here. i don't want to overcrowd this blog

i had no words to encapsulate how i feel. not even the simplest words. i never thought that one day, some day, that day, it happened.....to me.

Labels: disappintment, emotionally unstable, mess not, serious business, tired

i can't believe how naive i was to trust your words. i really thought you were different because i thought i knew you. i was a day late and a dollar short when i realized the truth. she was right all along. she knew it was coming and she predicted it like a physic. well, i guess it is only me and my stupid little trust that stretches longer than a band. you said you were not going to fall back. you said you were going to let past be past. you said that you weren't mentioning about it. how much can the truth contradicts what you said? more than anything anyone could ever imagined. i wonder was it jealousy that has taken over you the other day or what? i was pretty much shocked to see you acting that way and those questions, why i wonder if it is your right to ask? how much more will you change? how much more will you contradict yourself? i should say i would be daft as a brush to ever going to trust your words anymore.

Labels: emotionally unstable, mess not

i can't believe how some people can totally live in a world of lies and jealousy. or rather how they would create such a world. to be honest, it was you who chooses to be so! and it is not my fault or his that you don't get what you wanted ok? get a life and grow up, dickhead. you are so freaking childish since that incident started! jealousy and lies all shows in your eyes. you are no longer who you used to be. and FYI, you don't have the right to question anyone since you always eat your own words. you are no better than those pathetic buggers around the world. i feel so disgusted by just looking at your face. uek!

i have decided to make my blog private. drop me an email at lyfedancer@gmail.com. thanks.

Labels: mess not, pictures, serious business

so, the pictures did not turn out nice. it was rather grainy. i guess i have lots more to learn. it was my first time snapping night pictures. iso too high and the f-stop also high. urgh. i need more practices which also simply means i need to save! the settings were, iso 3200, shutter speed 13, f-stop 6.3. yea. have a good laugh at my failure.



laugh all you want. not like it matters to me. at least i know i did badly and i was very disappointed. i thought i could do better. gah and the model of the camera is DSC-H7. turned the camera upside down only to find it in small prints >< bah. no mood now cause i am seriously upset.

my knight in shining ebony armor,
rides to me atop his stallion,
to capture my lips and lay claim to my heart,
already impaled with his flag and branded with his mark,
as i believe his is with mine,
it's only after a night of worshiping the body of my heart's true god,
and as he climbs back onto his high horse,
to descend upon his throne of self-righteousness and supposed authority,
that i realize i am but,
another piece of conquered territory.

Labels: disappintment, mess not, pictures, tired

12 more days

suddenly today, everything decided to go against me. HOW NICE! first, the internet line went down. restarted the router umpteenth times but to no prevail. seriously sucky without internet. anyhow, the internet went back good BUT for some very weird reason, my laptop seem to be disturbing the tv. disturbing as in, you know when you put your handphone near the tv and then there is some disturbance. the radio wave or something. this has never happened before and suddenly got such problem. such a nuisance!

i have seen a lot of series of unfairness happening lately. deep down in me, i really want to confront that certain someone just to wake her up and let her know each and every bit of ugliness that was covered with tonnes of sweet talk. her life has been feed with lies and she knows about it but she refuse to believe. how could there be such a person like that in this world and not to mention the position she is in! for her position, i find it very immature for her to do so and i strongly believe that she deserve a very huge big slap as a juicy reward! such people ticks me off! it disgraces everyone who are in the same position as her.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i don't know whether i should trust in luck or fate but i know having you by my side is definitely a lifetime happiness. i am not sure how it began and i don't know how the ending will be like. one thing i am very sure of is that no matter how sour or bitter the future can be like, you will always have me by your side. i will never let you go unless you ask me to. i will never leave you alone unless you want me to. i will share all your sadness and happiness together. baby, we will and we can go through this together. you always have my fullest support.

Labels: disappintment, him, life, love, luck, mess not, sucky line

20 more days

so, i did promise on the China post :D
but i am so lazy to even photoshop it.
best bit is,
the camera is back home, in Ipoh!
smart smart smart!
i will be very much camera-less till January.
that is when i will be getting my DSLR.
hopefully the plan works out fine.
if not, my blog would be pretty much picture-less till i don't know when!
so i think i will drown my blog with words!
haha!

watched Twilight with the boyf.
the starting was pretty much urgh.
i had no idea what is going on with the staring and so on.
plus, Edward Cullen don't really look that great when he stares!
love all his smiling scenes.
he do really look cute when he smiles.
i think he would be better much off as Cedric in Harry Porter.
my favorite scene would be the baseball scene.
that was awesome!
i like the Cullen's house!
i wish i would own a house like that but in Malaysia, i can only dream on!

had a new haircut and i looked bad ><
never mind.
i am going to let it grow long again!

will be going to uni later.
to find out why on earth are they increasing the fees.
just questioning no arguing!

gah!
i am going to get some oranges :D

Labels: disappintment, mess not, pictures, random, ranty rant rants, sucky line, tired, you